ergh!!!

how cn dis be happening neme??!!!
im c0nfuse!im depress!!!
i noe ur frustration inside..
bt wat d0 u tink im in??
i felt e same way u did!!!
i felt e frustration inside!!!!
bt h0w cn i cure it?
0r hw cn i heal ur heart??
if my heart iz still hurt?>:
oh god!!!
i n0e itz my fault dat ur suffer..
n i also dun want ya t0 bring a h0pe on me.
im scred!
im really scred!!
im scred t0 face all e circumstances in a relationship!!!
im scred t0 face e relationship like i had before!!!
im still hurt...
n i nid sum1 t0 heal it..
sum1 hu's really luvs me..
n m0st importantly..
i also luv him..

how cn dis be happening neme??!!!
im c0nfuse!im depress!!!
i noe ur frustration inside..
bt wat d0 u tink im in??
i felt e same way u did!!!
i felt e frustration inside!!!!
bt h0w cn i cure it?
0r hw cn i heal ur heart??
if my heart iz still hurt?>:
oh god!!!
i n0e itz my fault dat ur suffer..
n i also dun want ya t0 bring a h0pe on me.
im scred!
im really scred!!
im scred t0 face all e circumstances in a relationship!!!
im scred t0 face e relationship like i had before!!!
im still hurt...
n i nid sum1 t0 heal it..
sum1 hu's really luvs me..
n m0st importantly..
i also luv him..

mat!!!!
im sorie!!!
i reallyam!!!

ape sey!!!

ape seh!!!!kak mel dah pr0mise nk gi ngan sya gi b'dae party kak sha pastuh tk jadi stakat bc0z der mlz tapi kalau part der,der nk pergi mane2 begging sya,walaup0n sya tk ley pegi tapi sya ttp pergi seh!..
kwn ape seh!..abeh tuh setiap kali kali tk der fren baru carik sya..ngah bored carik sya..kalau der msg sya, sya tk reply der kate sya somb0ng..abeh biler kalau part der byk kali seh sya msg tk reply..tanye asl?jwb mlz..!!
mak ai!!fuddup seh!*grrr*...

e s0ng i wrote...

here it goes...

mengapa ini harus t'jadi,
mengapa ia t'jadi kpd ku,
selama ini ku memintapd yg esa,
agr ku temukn cinta yg suci
(menemukn..dgn cinta yg suci)

suatu ari ku tlah mene my kannya,
tapi mengapa hati ini engan menerima,
ku bingung dan pasrah kpd mu,
adakah ini cinta yg suci ...
atau sekadar gurauan semata...

*to be contrinued.....

wow!!^_^

hmmm..sya still dun have any idea t0 finish my s0ng...:(
t0day, sya chat ngan mat,n his really made me luff today..
he always made me smile wenever im really sad 0r bored.
n now i g0t sum idea t0 finish my s0ng!
i can write..aahh...G0T IT!
i noe u dunnoe anything. but,later als0 u will n0e wat e s0ng iz all about
hmm..i tink dats it for today..
nk semayg!
l0m solat dok!
dah nk maghrib!

s0,bubye!!

woohoo!!!finally!!made my own song!...

today, like any other day..i g0t membebel by my parents..
rase cam nk kluar seh dari rumah nih!!
tiap ari kener membebel!!!
bingit sak!!at last sya gi ro0m abg sya n trus ttp pintu..
tak der keje sya ambik lah paper..diary sya sumer..
bukak radi0 ria n cm biase lah singing..cm org giler..!
suddenly,sya teringtkn mat biler terdengr satu lagu nih,ntah tk ingt lah..byk sgt s0ng sya dgr ari nih..
haiz.tk per lah..
den,sya p0n tulis lah ape2..bender2 yg tk diingini sume..
tk prasn plak aleh2 sya t'tulis one s0ng nih about me,danial n mat..
rase cm sad plak nyanyi lagu yg sya compose tadi..(cey..cey!!compose seh!!)
haha.sya lame!!anyway..sya l0m tau lagi nk letak namer lagu tu aper..:(

sya p0n ader record pat ph0ne lagu yg sya buat tadi..sedap tau suare sya!!haha.
ape jer..
ckp psl sedap nih, suare sya..
sya t'ingat ari tuh pat umah kak epe.sya sleepover pat sane ngan cik ani n akmal aji sumer..

mase tuh sya baru angun tido..sya tingglkn f0ne sya pat dlm bilik com. c0z mase tuh sya nk gi dapur mkn bekfast..lapar babi dok!!

dah mkn sumer..sya gi lah computer ro0m..nmpk ramai 0rg pat dlm bilik tuh..skali sya carik lah f0ne sya lah kn..sya nk msg kak mel, c0z actually we're suppose to0 meet up dat day..
sya tak teringat plak..so nk bilang der lah yg sya tk jadi kluar..
sya p0n carik lah f0ne sya pat aner..sya tanye aji,wheres my f0ne? rupe nye der yg amek!
haiz..mase yg sya nk amek tuh der ckp,suare sya cm siti nurhalizah lah..!haha.sya p0n ketawer lah ape lagi kn..sya p0n mrh der lah jgak, asl amek f0ne org tk mintk izin!geram sak!!
tk per lah..luckily tk der org yg dgr..accept f0r der jer..:))

aji,akmal iz actually sya nyer cuzies..cik ani tuh my mk cik..mama nyer adek.

s0,sya tk sabar seh,nk kasi kak mel dgr lagu yg sya buat tuh..!!haiz..
h0pefully der tk terpasn plak lagu tuh acually iz about der jgak ehk...!

hmm...

actually sya baru jer balek dari sh0p n save geylang..sya gi tman abh sya beli barang.
skali mase yg nk balik tuh sya der dpt f0ne kol fr0m bdak junied..name der syafiq,sya p0n tk knl sape der.der kate kwn ader dpt missed k0l fr0m my num.sya p0n heran..biler maser seh sya ader k0l org..c0z my pep8 ngah l0w..amacm seh nk kol.
sya p0n ckp lah ngan der kejap c0z maner lah tau kn sya terpicit ker aper c0z tadi sya luper nk pad lock..tk terpasn,sya tertkn letak!haiz..tk per lah..sya p0n msg der lah sya ckp ngan der
sorie,sbb tadi terttp..sya tanye,name kwn der saper..der ckp UCHUP!!!my GOD!!!ape hal seh num sya sampai pat der..achup iz actually sya nyer loz fren nyer ex..hes quite cute though..
kate bdak junied seh!!!haha.tapi sya rase kn..mayb deres sum1 making prank 0f me.
maybe mamat,c0z der p0n kwn achup wat?!!cant be,c0z ari tuh mase kakmel tanye..der ckp si bdak tuh??!!!haiz..ntah lah..can be wanie als0,c0z ari tuh sya ader tanye der about achup..der tanye,intrested ker??!!alamk!!!sya tkkn intrested in bdak madrasah lah..pleaz lah!!!can sum1 pleaz listen neme??!!!!i hate bdak madrasah...they're all KENTALON!!!even mat p0n bdak madrasah jgak..tapi amacm sya ley jatuh hati ati pat??!!OMG!!!did i said sya dah jatuh ati pat der??!!!CANT BE!!!i noe dis iz not me!! der yg gatal2 pat sya..tapi der cute!!!..n r0mantic..
maybe deres a hikmah behind all dis..maybe allah wants me t0 open my heart t0 bdak2 madrasah.maner tau??!!!kiter hanye boleh merancang jer per??!!tapi ALLAH yg menentukknnye..tol tk??!!haiz..

sya nk buat another s0ng lah es0k..
itz about,hmm..
ntah lah..

i dun wanna meet hym!!!i dun wanna luv hym!!!

im confuse!!!!
mel!!!i wanna tell u e truth!!..but i cant!!!bc0z ur my bez fren!!
n i cant hurt u!!!tmmrow i'm gonna teman u n ur boi n als0 mat going t0 viv0 bt i really really
h0pe im n0t going,but bc0z ur mom t0ld u t0 bring me n if n0t u cant g0 ryte??
s0 dis is e reas0n y i muz g0..itz alL bcoz 0f u..
mel!!
actually e reason y i dun wanna cumpany u n ur boi iz bc0z i still g0t dis feeling t0wards danial..
i dun wanna mit hym!!c0z im scared e feelings dat i g0t last tyme will reappear n it hurts my heart..about mat..i tink dat i juz wanna be frendz wif him f0r diz moment c0z my heart iz still hurts..:'( mat!!im really s0rie!! i cant accept u iz bc0z 0f dis..n i dun want u t0 giv ur hope 0n me so much!..coz im scared dat ull be hurt..:( . n also iz bc0z u dunnoe me much..i tink t0 u iz juz bc0z 0f e looks 0f a person dat important t0 u..bt my feelings iz trully important den my lo0ks..
u alwayz said dat u'r trully luvs me bt..i dun really truz e feelings dat u gave me.
if u'r reading dis, i hope ull understand n i really really trully want u t0 change my life n makes me forget him..if u'r really luv me.:(
urs trully,
sya.